“One of the saddest things in the world is loving someone who used to love you.”
Before I start on my true quote of the week (Just to remind you it’s: “Don’t be sad its over, be happy it happened”), I thought I’d better tell the story of why I chose that quote and not any other, to start off this blog adventure. . .
You see the thing is, a couple of weeks ago I had the absolute privilege of having my heart broken by an utterly amazing guy.
Last year, I had got to know this guy through a couple of my classes; we became good friends, and eventually I came to like him, as well you know a bit more than a friend.
Once school ended for the year, I realised to my horror, it would be a whole monthish before I saw him again :O . But a miracle happened and suddenly all of my dreams were coming true (well my dreams that involved him…and me…together). He suggested we hang out, and after some embarrassing flailing about on an ice rink, trying peanut butter chocolate for the first time (it’s good, trust me!), and daring confessions of feelings – he asked the question.
The question which I had often thought I’d never hear (especially from him!). The question which many a girl longs to hear. He asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend. . . and I of course didn’t linger thinking about the answer – I’d known it for a long time: yup :3
Suddenly every song about love, every poem about love and every quote about love made sense. For the next couple of months my life was one of pure bliss. Being with him, well I was walking on top of the world; and he was there holding the ladder that helped me reach the top.
He even said those words, those three words.
And I said them back.
I had fallen for him, absolutely and completely.
-On a side note, many people I’ve come across throughout my life have said they don’t believe in love at this age, but I don’t believe that. I believe love can be felt at any age- it just has different depths. . . and first love, well that’s one of the most meaningful loves of all –
It seriously was one of the best feelings in the world, that feeling of loving and being loved back…
But note the past tense.
Because you see, all of a sudden things broke apart…he started avoiding me, and when he did talk to me, it was different from before – it was like he’d closed his being off to me.
It may sound silly to some but I spent a week in pure misery going through everything in my head, praying and hoping that everything would be fine. My friends baring the brunt of this misery, many not even knowing what was wrong. I was hurting and I couldn’t do anything to stop it.
My school work went downhill as instead of doing homework I listened to songs that felt my pain. What now by Rihanna http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-3BI9AspYc and Say Something by A Great Big World https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2U0Ivkn2Ds were top of that playlist.
I was beginning to crack.
And then one day, I broke at those cracks.
That day, was the day it all ended.
No one could have prepared me for that blow.
No one could have prepared me for the ache in my chest.
For the longing.
For the deep sadness, that cuts to the core.
For the broken heart.
Now every heart broken song makes sense.
Wow, it hurts.
So yeah that’s the little background story. . but come back tomorrow and I’ll tell you how I turned to a quote to help let go (and whether or not its working!).
Because you see, I am known for my optimism, my happiness- but right now there’s a war inside of me, the happiness vs. the sad. . .but the happiness WILL overcome.
You see: “Maybe you have to know the darkness before you can see the light.”
I promise you, the next post will be happier (I hope! :p).
My heart goes out to the families and friends of those who perished on Malaysia Airlines MH370. Sorrow fills the world.